Awakening. That’s what this is: Awakening. But awakening to magick or witchcraft is more like figuring out how to wake up in a dream than what we think of as waking up in the “real world.”
There are so many times when I doubt myself and the information I am getting—so many times when I think, “What in the HECK?! Am I making this up or what?” But no—the lights flicker in real life or the most poignant symbols somehow just appear seemingly out of thin air…
“Am I dreaming, or am I awake?”
Well, I am awake, and the magick is still there! The symbols, the messages, the KNOWLEDGE that comes in little snippets of vague breadcrumb trails that lead to books and references that— without a doubt—support the very notions I just happened across somewhere in my mind. I wonder how these things got in my head and what more I will be learning and releasing from whatever storehouse of wisdom that is locked somewhere inside my mind/body/spirit.
Such is life when you a getting more acquainted with your witchiness!
This whole journey started more than 30 years ago for me—perhaps even lifetimes ago, if you are one who entertains the notion of past lives and rebirth. I’ve always been drawn to the paranormal and unexplained. I was totally one of those kids who watched every Ripley’s Believe it or Not! show, along with anything remotely spooky, paranormal, or occult.
My dad studied astrology when I was young and I was always into his books, working to decipher my personality and how the stars influenced it. My mom thought it better to worship God in nature than in a church (after all, God built nature and men built churches, right?). Even though I was raised Catholic, I was given a lot of room to explore different ideologies and beliefs. Explore I did (along with tying some of the roots of the traditions together)!
During my teenage years, my dabbling evolved to study and practice, but never to a joining coven or even to seeking a real mentor of any sort; I’m more the solitary witch myself. Then, after many years of practice and for whatever reason, I just dropped most of it. It was like I went to sleep. I didn’t work on spells or work with the Earth or study or anything.
The funny thing is that once you are acquainted with magick, you can’t stay away for too long! Honestly, I was never fully disconnected from Source, as I still looked at the world through the eyes of an initiate – still seeing the splendor, beauty, meaning and subtle hints that everything we look at is filled with energy and magickal possibility.
A few years back, I started working quite heavily again with tarot, angels, rituals, and energy. A friend of mine was talking about Reiki and – because I had pulsed energy out before (shot actually) – I was quite keen to learn more about this practice. (You can read my Reiki story here link to My Reiki Story)
My attunement led the proverbial floodgates to open once again.
There are times when I am out in nature, either running or gardening or hiking or doing some other mundane task… when I just understand some concept or principle related to earth, nature, or the work I do with crystals, energy, etc.
For example, I was jogging one early spring morning a couple of years ago, thinking about the nothing and everything that runs through one’s mind when running—then all of a sudden I just understood the whole birth, death, renewal theme associated with Easter and some of the more Pagan practices. Seeing the new growth rise from the seemingly dead, barren soil – giving way to new life and new hope that is SPRING. Thinking about how Easter and Ostara tie so well together – how the church and people celebrate Easter in Europe as opposed to how they celebrate it in the States – bringing fresh herbs home from the nearby forests and collecting willows and other signs of the change of seasons… how nature shows us exactly how resilient we can be and how many things around us seem to rise from the dead.
I wish I could remember the specifics of the FLOOD of knowledge I received about the ties between the two (Easter and Ostara) and also about working with the elements that are so common during Spring – like the call we all have to detox and fast to rid ourselves of all of the pent up drudge that gets caught up in our bodies and energy systems during the cold, closed in months of winter… How using dandelions and other herbs that are common during spring helps to hasten the process – and how we have gotten so disconnected from the Earth that we don’t follow our intuition or the even the BIG CLUES (like thousands of dandelions all ready to eat) that the Mother gives us to help us keep more in touch with the Earth and with our core selves as well.
Another example is something that happened the other day when I was meditating with my Lemurian Star Seed and was introduced to the basics of pyramid crystal healing and given very specific instructions on how to use pyramids of different sorts to enhance my energy work. The odd thing is that this particular Lemurian Star Seed was a gift from a friend who is also called to work with pyramids – I have to email her to see if there is a connection – if she had used this Star Seed herself and received similar information from it.
What gets me is that the information just comes seemingly out of nowhere. I can’t figure out a different way to describe it. When I get these flashes of insight. I just know.
And I just know that I am meant to work as a Witch.
There was a great article put out recently by Sarah Durham Wilson, 13 Signs You’re a Witch. By the time I was done reading this article, there were tears streaming down my face. It hit me, time and time again – especially when I was reading about the awakening of past life memories – the feeling of tightness around my neck when I tried to gaze backward… I am a witch – whether reincarnated or just completely empathetic to those who were so harshly treated, feared, and misunderstood in the past.
What I do—what it is likely they did—is connect with nature, with Source energy, with the environment, and with people.
I curse no one; my work is not to harm or control, but to help, heal, and restore.
My practice is in a place where I feel that I am learning and evolving. I grow various herbs and use them for different things, like clearing energy, cooking, and also healing the sacred feminine aspect of myself. I collect crystals to make elixers from them and use them in my healing work. I also collect rocks and minerals that I am attracted to, learning what qualities they represent and how I can use them in my craft. I’ve done these things all my life, the difference now is that I actively learn about and work with all of these elements in a more consciously directed way these days or I follow my intuitive guidance about how to use the tools that I am given.
Even though I have been studying for a long time, I still feel like I have a long way to go and there is no way for me to ever know all there is to know!
The other day, I was explaining to my neighbors what I do for a living: the Reiki, the card reading, aromatherapy and crystal work. One of my neighbors said, “Hexe” (German for witch). Yes, I told him. You could call me that.
But my practice is not at all cauldrons and curses and dried frog toenails and warts—things people might commonly associate with witches. It is actually science and Earth and learning about understanding and honoring the flashes of intuition that I am given and figuring out how to apply that to my world to make it more magickal. It’s jars of magick and hope.
Once you see the magick, you can’t unsee it. Once you experience how working with the more subtle, beautiful side of life, you don’t want to go back to being “normal” ever again. If what I do earns me the title of “Witch,” I will accept it proudly.