Why Allowing Yourself To Feel Grief Is So Important

Grief is part of our lives, whatever we believe in.

I know we might experience grief differently in different cultures and societies, still missing a loved one in human form is grief.

When was the first time you felt grief?

We all remember our first big loss; when was yours?

I was 24 when my father passed away suddenly. I was shocked. It hit me to the core, as this was the first death I experienced in my life. I was only 3 years of age when my grandfather passed, so I had no recollection of him or feeling of missing him. Later on, a great aunt passed away. She was very old, and though I knew her and have seen her, she lived far away and by her being gone, it was not very different than before.

When my father died, however, it hit close to home. It was more real. The man I saw daily—the person who was so close to me—was gone. I could never speak to him, and he would never hold me again.

If you are grieving now, give yourself a big hug. You are doing so well.

Do you outgrow grief?

I don’t feel you ever outgrow grief, you sort of learn to live with it.

Grief is part of our lives, as we all come and go.

I remember a time 20 years after my father passed, it was around the anniversary of his passing, and I had a huge wave of grief hit me.

First I felt it couldn’t be. I have dealt with this, and so I tried to suppress it. Common sense told me that I should be past it by now, though my heart knew differently.

Only when I allowed myself to embrace my grief, when I made time and space to sit with my grief, me missing my father, and I finally let the tears flow, could I heal and a huge shift of grief was able to heal.

You see, by suppressing our feelings, we are not doing ourselves any good. We are closing our hearts, we are hampering our well being and yes, we are hindering our healing. Feelings are here to be felt, and guide us towards a brighter light.

Who are you still missing? Honour yourself by acknowledging your feelings.

How can we grief when we know souls are eternal

No matter what we believe, we are still missing our loved ones in human form, and that is ok. We are allowed to miss them to feel lonely and lost and yes, feel the grief.

What do you believe in?

I believe in incarnation. I believe our souls are eternal.

I believe we can communicate with our loved ones, and I believe we can feel their energy. I also believe our loved ones are looking over us and guiding us.

I know from my own experience, I can feel the energy of my father, and I can communicate with him. Still I miss him in human form. I miss not being hugged by him, I miss having a conversation hearing his voice, and yes, I mostly miss that he never was able to be a granddad in this life, and I am saddened that my children grew up without their maternal grandfather because they would have gotten on so well.

Isn’t that contradictory, you might ask.

It might appear to be, though believing and knowing that his soul is still with us, and he is still around us, and me—as a medium—even being able to connect and converse with him, doesn’t make me any less prone to feeling grief.

I still miss him, him in human form, him the way I knew and grew up with.

Yes, it helped me tremendously to connect with his energy and soul, and I did some profound healing and yes it helped with my grief.

Not acknowledging that I miss him would be dishonoring myself. Telling myself that I should not feel grief because I know he lives in the eternal would not help me.

So believing that souls are eternal is helpful, but it does not totally release your grief.

Allow yourself to grieve, no matter what you believe.

Looking at old photos can help you feel your grief

Why is suppressing grief unhealthy?

Suppressing means shutting down, not allowing. It also indicates an outside force. Maybe society doesn’t allow you to grieve. Maybe you feel it has been too long, so you should be over it. Maybe your belief doesn’t allow you to grieve. Whatever it is that is holding you back, it is hurting you deeply.

Suppressed feelings create dis-ease in our bodies. Suppressed feelings block our hearts in an energetic sense and sometimes in a physical sense.

Suppressing anything never works for long. “Force creates an equal counter force”, is a law in Physics. If you put a boulder in a river, you block the flow. This is what happens with your energy system when you suppress grief. If you do not allow yourself to feel, you are blocking ALL your feelings. Your days become more dull, the sun seems to be reduced to clouds and colours tend to turn grey, all without you noticing, as it is a gradual approach.

So not allowing yourself to feel grief has implications on your body, on your health and on your energy and your mood and general well-being.

You can start by simply acknowledging that you are still feeling grief.

What can help you with grief

Now that you know how important it is to feel and acknowledge your grief, I would love to share with you some tools that might help you.

  • Ask Archangel Azrael to help you with your grief and also if you wish to help you to connect with your loved one.
  • Sit some place quiet and just acknowledge your grief and allow it to bubble up, allow yourself to cry and let the tears flow
  • Ask Mother Mary to heal your heart, and breathe out and let all your hurt and grief go
  • Look at some old photographs. Connect with your loved on in this form, and treasure the connection you hold in your heart.
  • Write a letter. Write it all out, how you feel and how you miss him/her.
  • Create art in form of a collage, painting drawing anything you like.
  • Create an Altar to honour your loved one and your feelings of grief.
  • Walk in nature and take deep breathes, celebrate you are still on this earth.
  • Feel grateful.

These are just a few simple ideas to help you manage your grief.

Of course, if you feel guilty over something you did in regards to your loved ones, or you feel you want to deliver a message, find a Medium or Energy Healer you can trust and have a session. Guilt is holding you back, and your loved ones never would hold anything against you, as they are back in love. They forgive you and understand fully, as they feel only love and compassion for you. I have done many healings and know this from experience in my own life as well as a healer to many gorgeous clients.

It is never too late to release your guilt, shame and your grief.

Sending you so much love

Warm hugs,

Teacher of Hearts
Author, Speaker and Healer

PS: You can find my blog posts on grief here




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